Closet Bulimia

My friend Lovey sent me a list of upcoming sample sales yesterday and the rush of anxiety and greed got me thinking about why we keep buying stuff even when we can only fit clothes into our closets by buying those skinny Bed Bath & Beyond hangers and putting all our off-season things into storage.

I think there are a few elemental things at work here. Part of it is a sort of base cavemanish (womanish) greed. Why else would I hold on tightly to the dress that two other women have been circling even though it doesn't quite fit right and is really better in theory than execution? Or those amazing shoes that I can only wear if I'm not standing, walking or doing anything else that requires putting weight on my feet but that I want because they're the only pair and I got them first.

Sometimes the shopping urge comes from a slightly more evolved quest for self-improvement, even if only superficial. When I was a kid, I used to love to dress up my Barbie dolls and pretend that they were living my idealized adult fantasy life (which sadly seemed to consist of putting on outfits, taking them off, and putting on new ones). Now, I'm kind of my own Barbie but with fewer outfit changes and without Barbie's proportions, though the clothes for women over 11 inches tall is so much better, I'm ok with that. But I still have this idea that a really amazing outfit will improve my life. I do think better clothes can improve my tennis game, so why not my night out? Or really, my career?

The flip side of this hunter/gathering consumption and more-fun-than-therapy self improvement is the pang of remorse. I feel this particularly when I get my clothes back from storage when the seasons change and there's that shock of recognition and guilt confronting me: "I know what you bought last season". That jilted blouse that I picked up, but never choose to wear, or, even sadder, that top I loved but that just doesn't seem to work anymore and always loses out to the cute new ones that I have lined up. And they really are awfully cute.

So, I try to let them go. I have managed to get some things out of my closet and into a large discard pile in my living room and I've even googled consignment shops and asked a couple friends about ebay. A few pieces have moved on to my friends. And yes, to be honest, I do feel that pang of regret.. "Darn, that top is looking good on Anne." But I freed up a little space and a few of those BB&B hangers.

..which I promptly used to hang up the latest sample sale conquests.

And so the wheel turns...